“Things are moving too quickly and I can’t keep up.” “I want to connect with friends at the end of the day, but I’m just too tired.”  “I know I need to be more patient with my kids but I’m just so stressed out.” We often talk about social-emotional learning for students, but what about us? What about our social and emotional wellness?

According to the Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning (CASEL), social and emotional learning are integral parts of human development. Through this process, we develop healthy identities, learn to manage our emotions, achieve both personal and group goals, demonstrate empathy and care for others, develop and maintain supportive relationships, and make responsible decisions in everyday life. It’s lifelong learning, folks. It’s a process, not a destination.

Where Do I Start With Social Emotional Wellness?

I often hear people recommend self-care as the solution to the struggle. Self-care is part of it, but self-care isn’t the whole story. Of course taking time to care for yourself and do things you love helps lighten the load, but learning new skills and doing things differently next time around keeps the load light.

Recognize Your Thoughts and Emotions

A great place to start is beginning to recognize your thoughts and emotions. We know that ignoring emotions often results in greater mental health challenges including clinical anxiety and depression. Cognitive Behavior Theory suggests that it’s actually our thoughts that impact our emotions, which then impact our behavior and actions. Think of your thoughts as the fire, and your emotions and behavior as the smoke. Many of us are unaware of our thoughts or even the emotions we are experiencing until they overflow in the form of tears or a sudden angry outburst.

What Are You Feeling?

My challenge to you is to be curious, not furious. Ask yourself what you’re feeling, and what that feeling might be telling you. When you notice the feeling, ask yourself what you were just thinking about? Is that thought a healthy, logical one, or might it be distorted and illogical? As we know, thoughts are not facts. How might thoughts impact your behavior and actions? How could your behavior and actions impact your relationships, achievement of your goals, or decision making?

To further explore this idea, here’s a quick example:

Therapist: Imagine you’re home alone at night and you hear a bump in the house. What would you think?

Client: I’d think someone broke into my house and was trying to rob me.

Therapist: What kind of feelings would you have?

Client: Fear, I’d be scared.

Therapist: Okay, now imagine you agreed to babysit your friend’s annoying dog. What would you think?

Client: I’d be annoyed that the dog woke me up.

Therapist: Great. So do you see how the thought you had impacted the associated feelings with the event? How might you respond in each scenario? How would those responses impact your physical and emotional health?

Model Your SEL Skills with Your Students

Identifying thoughts and feelings is a great skill to practice personally, and also to teach in your classroom. Bandura’s Social Learning Theory tells us that one way children learn is through modeling. You have a great opportunity to demonstrate SEL skills to your students, and provide yourself with the care you need at the same time! What would it be like to show up to class and say “I am feeling anxious right now because I’m thinking about everything that needs to get done in a short amount of time. It’s okay, I am a human, and humans have emotions. Right now, I need to take a few deep breaths to help myself feel better. If anyone else is having some big feelings right now, feel free to join me.” For more information on these skills, check out resources like TRAILS or CASEL. 

Practice Your Social-Emotional Skills Regularly

It is so important that educators take care of themselves and practice healthy social-emotional skills regularly. In doing so, the anxious teacher from above communicates to students that their emotions and experiences matter and that they are more than what they accomplish in a day. Students and educators develop stronger relationships which increases learning and engagement. Our school buildings become places where staff and students feel they are supported, respected, and belong. In short, we achieve our mission to enrich the experiences and achievements of our learners.

Join us on November 10th for a Mental Wellness PLC!

Bring staff and administrators supporting mental wellness in schools together to increase knowledge, supports and connections. Staff will learn information, make connections and analyze current systems to increase mental health supports in schools and improved outcomes for students.

This free course is being offered both in-person and virtually. You can choose your method to attend during registration. Plus you can earn 9 SCECHs or SW-CECs for attending. What do you have to loose? Sign up for the Mental Wellness PLC now!

#MentalWellnessMatters #SEL #WeLeadLearning #KentISDpd

This blog post was written by Chelsea Kittridge-Farrell, Mental Wellness Consultant and Sue-Ann Simpson, Social Work Intern at Kent ISD. It was edited by Amanda Walma, Professional Learning Coordinator and Sara Johnson, PD Hub Intern at Kent ISD.